Top 5 Things to Do When Hootsuite Goes Down

Top 5 Things to Do When Hootsuite Goes Down
By Michael Stahl

In the 10 am Eastern Standard Time Zone hour on Tuesday, February 4, 2014, Hootsuite.com became inaccessible. Like many others I’m sure, I first presumed it was an issue with my computer or browser. An immediate restart did nothing to alleviate the problem. Facebook, Twitter, and, yes, Pinterest were all seemingly operating normally.I took to Twitter for real-time updates and found that people in all kinds of languages were reporting the outage. After a moment of feeling compelled to throw my laptop across my living room, I settled for banging my head against the wall a few times and taking two Aleve instead because that pain would be an easier, cheaper fix than any damage committed upon my true money maker.

At 10 am, I was fully immersed in my workday, scheduling posts for my clients. Sure, with Hootsuite down I could schedule Facebook posts directly on that site, but that would’ve created double the work for myself, as I’d only later have to go back into Hootsuite and schedule similar content for the other networks I have linked up. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Here are my suggestions for what you can do while you’re, once again, waiting for Hootsuite to get its act together:5) Have a beer: They’re delicious and, if enough of them are consumed, they can help with your headache. There are innumerable types and infinite brands, so you should be able to get your hands on one with relative ease, unless you’re one of those underage college kids who tricked a middle-aged business owner into thinking you know something about marketing just because you have a Facebook and Twitter account. You will first have to get a fake I.D.

4) Play in the snow: Here on the East Coast we’ve had plenty of it this winter, with more to come. Bundle up and revive your youth, but don’t throw snowballs at anyone’s windshield as they drive past. That’s really dangerous. If you’re in SoCal or Florida, go to the beach instead and Instagram the heck out of it to make your East Coast friends, real or virtual, insanely jealous, forcing them to consider new real estate investments.

3) Read a book: This can actually be done while you have a beer. (In fact, if you’re a beach bum, you can engage in all three activities I’ve mentioned so far at the same time) If however, you’ve gotten rid of all your books, see if there’s a magazine lying around (like The Social Media Monthly). If there aren’t any books or magazines, open your mail. The point is, take this as an excuse to get off your computer. Your clients will deal with the lack of productivity because they probably don’t even understand what you’re talking about half the time anyway—“What’s an ‘analytic?’” If you’re assertive enough, they’ll just go with it and be convinced there’s nothing you can do to mend the situation.

2) Do chores: Look around. There are dust balls in the corner. Your refrigerator only has condiments inside. You’re wearing your last pair of clean underwear. Doing chores is definitely not as fun as the other entries on this list, but when you’re done, you’ll feel good about yourself and you won’t have to worry about them for a while afterwards. (If you want to skip this and do number five again, I won’t judge.)

1) Comprehend the meaning of life: Sure, you sit around Facebooking and Tweeting all day. Yes, when you go to parties and tell people you’re a social media manager, you have to explain that the work is actually pretty challenging in its own way. But you’re not dumb. There’s no pressure here to come up with a real answer to the age-old question of “What does it all mean?” Nobody else has.

*If none of these appeal to you, then write a silly little blog post. You never know who might publish it.

Michael Stahl is a journalist, social media manager & strategist. Hailing from Astoria, New York, his articles and essays have appeared in several online and print publications. He is currently accepting new social media clients, so if you’d like to procure his services, contact him at mrstahl7@gmail.com. Follow him on Twitter too @MichaelRStahl.
1 comments
KateForster2
KateForster2

This is freaking hilarious! Seriously a joy of my day :) Thanks for making me smile :)


"Ain't nobody got time for that, Hootsuite!" LOL

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